Things My Mama Taught Me

        For the past 18 years of my life I have surely learned a lot. However, I did not learn it all on my own. I have been blessed with a mom who has such a huge place in my heart. Because of her, I am who I am today. Even though I went away for school we are closer than ever and I pray she knows I will always find a way to come back home to her. Here are a few of the things my mama  taught me:

1.     Always be honest and open.

2.     Believe in yourself.

3.     If you want something, work for it, not stopping till you get it.

4.     Never forget about your childhood. That love you had for Santa Clause can still exist today.

5.     Life is full of life lessons so go ahead and write them down in a book.

6.     You are strong. People will only bring you down because you allow them too.

7.     Be proud of who you have become, but do not be prideful when it comes to your actions.

8.     Having a bad day? Grab some Mod Podge, glitter, paper, ribbon and anything else you can imagine and create till you are happy.

9.     You deserve a man who makes you his priority. No games, no rollercoasters, just love that is real and true.

10. It’s okay to cry.

11. Forgiving and forgetting are too different things.

12. Inappropriate language is not becoming of you as a lady.

13. You are capable of getting through anything because God put certain people in your life for a reason.

14. Toms are the best traveling shoe.

15. You are loved because of who you are.

      My beautiful mom and me in front of naked statues in Spain. You know, the usual.

Life & Death

Today in Religion & the Human Quest my professor handed out this poem:

Reflection on Death-

Nothing can make up for the absence of someone we love,

And it would be wrong to try to find a substitute.

We must simply hold out and see it through.

That sounds very hard at first,

but at the same time it is a great consolation.

For the gap, as long as it remains unfilled,

Preserves the bond between us.

It is nonsense to say God fills the gap.

God does not fill it,

But on the contrary keeps it empty

            and so helps us to keep alive

            our former communion with each other

            even at the cost of pain.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I don’t know about you, but this poem certainly hit home for me. It has been 6 years since I tragically lost my Grandpa and for so long I wondered why God did not fill the gaps in my suffering heart. Now, it is not like this poem answers all my questions or makes me miss my grandpa any less. Instead, this poem allows me to look at missing someone who can no longer be with me in a more comforting light. We have all lost someone we have loved so dearly and wish were still here. Try to always remember that you are not alone.  For me, I go to my mom and grandma when I am missing my grandpa and we just laugh and smile about old memories and how things used to be. The pain is hard but reach out to others because most likely they are feeling the emptiness also.

I Love Us

Well here we are, the first day of February has finally arrived. Now, I know what you are thinking, “YES, the beginning of Black History Month!” Granted, I am more than stoked for a month like this but February is also known for that little thing called Valentine’s Day. There, I said it, so let’s all try to deal with it.

            Before Christmas was even over Valentine’s Day paraphernalia was attempting— and  yes, succeeding— at  haunting every female’s hopes and dreams. OH, you think that’s a little dramatic? Have you talked to a single girl, over the age of 16, on Valentine’s Day? No? Well don’t. Most likely she will claw your eyes out. In fact, some people have adopted a new name for the day supposed to be the most love-dovey of the whole year: S.A.D. or for those of you who are not caught up on such lingo, Single’s Awareness Day.

            But hold up, where did Valentine’s Day even come from? Doing some research I of course went to Wiki. Bother you? Okay, sounds like a personal problem. Like any other tradition there are many stories trying to explain why people do what they do. Evidently, there was once a Christian martyr named Saint Valentine. The Golden Legend has it that the night before Saint Valentine was to be executed for trying  to convert Roman Emperor Clausius II to Catholicism, he supposedly wrote the first “valentine” card himself. He addressed the valentine to a young girl, who may have been his beloved, and signed the note “From your Valentine.”

            So uh I have a question. . . If Valentine’s Day merely started by a note signed by a Saint named Valentine, then how in the world did we go from a man who really did exist to a chubby baby in a loincloth with a bow and arrow that causes people to fall in love? 

Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with Valentine’s Day, but what if we are missing the point? Through my 18 long years of life I have come to discover many things, one of them being that if companies can make money off of something, trust me, they will. Pessimistic? Huh, no, I am just calling it like it is. Think about it: What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of Valentine’s Day? I sincerely hope it is love, and then probably right after that, money. . . Ever tried to buy roses on Valentine’s Day? Ya, don’t. You will come to discover that you will have to take out a loan just to afford a dozen.  Here is what I think of when it comes to Valentine’s Day:

        Valentines, handmade or store bought: It’s the thought that counts, right? I still give Valentines because I refuse to believe I am not in elementary anymore. 

       Carnations: Every Valentine’s Day at my high school, every female received a flower to let them know they were loved. 

       Chocolates: Jay, if you are reading this think Godiva. Hehe, just kitten. . . but seriously. . .

       A ginormous teddy bear: Nothing says “I love you” like a teddy bear bigger than most children under the age of six. 

Hearts: I know, a classic. We are talking big hearts, little hearts, red hearts, pink hearts, shiny hearts, glittery hearts, smelly hearts. . . .Wait what?

PINK RED GLITTER AHHHHHHH EVERYWHERE

Okay, so that’s all the material things, but here is what I don’t quite understand: One day out of the whole year we pay ridiculous amounts of money to tell those special people in our lives that we love them. But wait, why do we need a specific day like Valentine’s Day to do that. Shouldn’t every day be the day to tell the people that you love that your life would not be the same without them and that you are so grateful to know them? Maybe I am too optimistic, but maybe it’s not that ridiculous of a thought.

So no matter if you are single, married, or in a relationship, take a moment today to go to the person you love most, whether it be a husband, a wife, a mom, a grandma, a brother, a best friend or maybe your neighbor (hey, weirder things have happened), and let them know you care about them.

            With all this being said, here we go folks. It’s the month of love, so let’s embrace it happy and grateful for all those people that we love most in our lives. Valentine’s Day is going to come and go, but the people that we would give the world to spend an endless number of Valentine’s Days together are what really matter, so take a moment on February 14^th or maybe even right now to say, “I love us.”  

College Sucks, Until it Doesn't.

“It’s the best time of your life.”
“OH MY GOSH college is so crazy.”

“Don’t worry about a thing, everyone else is in the same boat.”

“It’s all going to fly by.”

If you are in college at some point before heading off to school you have heard some of these lovely words of wisdom. So here we are back at school for another semester and I am reflecting on what I have been told. However, as I spend over 200 dollars on books, attempt to wake up before my 9 o’clock class (I know I complain when people have 8 AMS and I am so sorry), and try to just deal with the cafeteria food, I am unable to find the beauty in this whole “college thing.” I know, I know, Ms. Bitter Betty, but I hope you will hear me out.

When you first to get to college there is so much excitement, so much to discover and so many things to learn (I am on life lesson #756), but it’s all hard. It’s hard knowing who is genuine. It’s hard knowing how that first test is going to be in each of your classes. It’s hard knowing who you are meant to be. So ya, college sucks until it doesn’t. You start off with a whirl wind of emotions, running around trying to be friends with everyone and their mother. But then things calm down and textbooks beat you over the head. You come to discover who will be there for you when you get sick. You come to realize that late night pillow talk is something sacred. You come to realize, that the girls across the hall that you thought were rude, are the sweetest Colorado angels you have ever met. Everything you had worried about worked out as it was meant.

But now I am on my second semester and every time I come back from Texas I count down the days till I get to go back home. Now, no worries, I love it here in Denver, but there is something hopeful about knowing how many days till I get to be reunited with my family and friends, and of course the great state of Texas. I had promised myself this year that I would try my best to take one day at a time, but instead I am jumping ahead 41 days till Spring Break. Maybe it’s because here I get nosebleeds? Or maybe it's because when I walk around I feel like I need an oxygen tank? Whatever the case may be, I need to cut it out.

Here I am, hoping that I can fast-forward my college days and because of this I am missing the point. I am blessed to attend a college where I am cared for not just by my friends but also by my faculty and staff. A college that has some places around campus that look like Howgwarts. A college that offers me a Jesuit viewpoint of cura personalis. I have all this, yet I want to jump into the real world? Maybe it’s because sometimes I feel like have an old soul? Silly? Ya, maybe. However, this old soul still has a lot more heartache to experience and life lessons to learn. I can wish it would goby  faster but my 24 hour days are not going to speed up upon my request. I have hopes, wishes, and dreams but they are going to fall into place when it’s meant, not when I want them to.

Okay, so where do I go from here? Well, I am still going to look forward to going home but I am going to focus more on my blessings around me. Every morning I wake and say the Serenity Prayer:

“God grant me the serenity
     to accept the things I cannot change;
      courage to change the things I can;
     and wisdom to know the difference.”

            This prayer reminds me that you know what, college is what it is but I can also make a difference on how I want my experience to be: happy, fulfilled, content, and inspired. So to all you college students out there let’s try something. Let’s be content with where we are and make the most out of what we have all been given.  

A Few of My Favorite Things

      I am very blessed. I attend an excellent college and I have a loving family and friends that are always there for me. However, so very often I take these things for granted. Because of this notion, I don't want to live my life not knowing what I have till it is gone. So, I took some time and compiled a few of my favorite things. Some a little silly, some a little serious but that's what life’s moments are all about, right?

1. Texas

       Now, I know what y'all are thinking, "What a Texan thing to say.." But, I really do love where I am from. Our attitude may be a little obnoxious and we may want to succeed, but hey from cowboys to country all the way back to Tex-Mex I am proud to be from Texas.  

2. Nail Polish

       So, if you are not in college you may not understand this one quite as much, but you see, when you are in college you are what we in the business call broke. My friends and I can not afford to get our nails done so we set up shop in our dorm rooms and in the past 6 months my nail polish collection has doubled. 

3. Gelato

       OH how I hate to love Gelato. So much better than ice cream and yes, even frozen yogurt. 

4. Oliver

       Oliver started out as a little bit of a joke but you know this lovable cow has really meant a lot to me. Oh, you didn’t know I was one of those people who has a sentimental stuffed animal..? Too bad, deal with it. I love my Oliver. 

5. Sunflowers

       Sunflowers are by far my favorite of all the flowers. I will have to say that they are not the prettiest or the best smelling. However, what I love about sunflowers is that they can grow almost anywhere under the toughest conditions. Sunflowers are fighters. I admire that. 

6. Sarah Holland

       For those of you who may not know me so well, this may be a little creepy that one of my favorite things is a person. Well, Sarah is my best friend and without her I would be a hot southern mess. I sometimes call her Peter because I consider her my rock. We all need that one person we can always run to no matter what. Thank you Sarah for being that person for me. 

7. Tuna IN A PACKET

       Now, don’t you judge me. I just really like tuna, but tuna in a packet is quite possibly the best thing ever invented. . . kinda. You don’t even have to drain it! 

8. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch.

       I am thankful for this book. I read this book the summer before my senior year and will hopefully read it every summer from here on out. In the book Pausch wrote, “The key question to keep asking is, Are you spending your time on the right things? Because time is all you have. ” This book has indeed changed the way I think and how I perceive the world. You know, sometimes what we think matters a lot really doesn’t matter that much at all. 

9. Babies

       Have you ever known anything to be so perfect as a baby? Yes, they cry and spit up and can’t tell you what is wrong when they are upset, but babies love unconditionally. Babies do not judge. They simply desire affection and care and in return give back smiles and giggles. 

10. Dental Flossers

       OKAY, these are the coolest things since sliced bread. No longer do you have to hold the slimy floss, but instead a handle! And who said that America wasn’t progressing along like other countries?

11. Mustaches

       Seriously, funniest things ever. I even have fake ones. But, you know I don’t like them on men, only inanimate objects.

12. Glitter

       I really enjoy arts and crafts and my number one motto when it comes to crafting a piece, if it can have glitter, it will have glitter. Simple as that. 

So go ahead and think about it, what are a few of your favorite things? Oh, and don't forget to count those blessings.

Childhood.

Today I came across all the VHS's from my childhood. First off, I would just like to say that I had a very impressive collection as a small child. There were the classics like Cinderella and Little Mermaid but some others that I had not thought of in years like Quest For Camelot and Fly Away Home. Have not seen those? Well, stop reading this and go and watch them. But seriously. . . As I sat there taking out all the VHS’s I just felt well, happy. You know how when you are a little kid and all you want to do is just grow up? You want to drive. You want to get out of the house. You want to start making your own decisions. The word independence is so far out of reach but all you want to do is just swallow it whole.

I used to want to grow up, now I am asking if maybe we can slow the clock. Sure, I am only 18 but already I have had some major milestones: My 16^th birthday, my first love, my first car, my first semester of college. Pretty soon my firsts will come to include: my first and ONLY marriage, my first kid’s birthdays, my first house and my first job as a nurse. And although this is all so close I don’t want it quite yet.

What I want is to be my 6 year old self who could sit down with her blankie in her Winnie the Pooh pajamas and watch Snow White, still believing that fairy tales are real. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I have never been to Disney World/Land, and no I am not bitter about it. . . but I have to live my life knowing that no prince charming is going to come and save me. Well that and that seven dwarfs will probably not be knocking on my door any time soon.

            So what’s the point? Ya, we grow up, we learn things, our VHS’s become DVDs. Although this is all true I think the big picture is a little more than that. When you are little everything is safe, everything is perfect. You believe that your parents are happy, but then they divorce. You believe that all people want what is best for you, but then your best friend hurts you. You believe that being little makes you weak, but then you become stronger and you wish you were little again. No matter what the truth may be, we can’t go back. 

          Life is constantly moving forward, progressing and developing. But you know, all those movies that we watched as children can help be our guide. Timon and Pumba taught me HAKUNA MATATA. Peter Pan taught me that all things take faith and trust. Mulan taught me that I must reflect before I act. Winnie the Pooh taught me what friendship really is. Every day what was a part of our childhood resonates in our thoughts, our actions and even our words. So I guess all we can do is “just keep swimming.”

Here We Go

After spending 365 days on a project, I knew that during 2012 I had to keep something going. As I look back on Project Life I am so appreciative of how excited everyone was to see my photos, so thank you to anyone who took the Project Life journey with me. Down the road, I am sure I will do another but I think a year off will be good. However, no worries, I will still be doing photography. I mean, what else am I to do with all my free time that doesn’t exist?

           For 2012 I am going to blog. No, not every day, but for sure every week. Photos, thoughts, reflections, rants…, hopes and dreams will fill my blog. I hope 2012 is a year of learning, loving and letting go. College days is what my life is, but it won’t always be. But for now, I think I am going to take everything one day at a time. It was Ferris Bueller who said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Here’s to a happy and hopeful 2012.